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[FICTION] Tales from Port Astor | An Incomplete Federal Radio Commission Hearing Transcript

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[UHLMEYER]: As I said, uh, commissioner, we had zero indication to believe that such an incident would occur with Bob or any other host or guest of our station.

[COMMISSIONER BULLARD]: But one did, Mr. Uhlmeyer, and I do note that you've dodged the questions of this commission several times about who the actual guest was that seemingly appeared and prompted the incid--

[UHLMEYER]: Commissioner Bullard, I have no earthly idea who that was, a--

[COMMISSIONER BULLARD]: You had scheduled Port Astor City Health Commissioner, Eugene Kotz, for that broadcast, correct?

[UHLMEYER]: Yes, that is correct.

[COMMISSIONER BULLARD]: Was it not him?

[UHLMEYER]: I do not believe so.

[COMMISSIONER BULLARD]: Why is that?

[UHLMEYER]: Because we found him still in the waiting area, and he told us that no one had ever come to retrieve him. Further, I do not believe that Bob would have acted su--

[COMMISSIONER BULLARD]: But Mr. Wattson did, and by doing so filled the homes of tens-of-thousands with disgusting indecency!

[UHLMEYER]: Yes, and for that I, and we with KPA management do apologize.

[COMMISSIONER BULLARD]: See, was that so hard?


Page 9

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[COMMISSIONER DILLON]: Now, Mr. Uhlmeyer, KPA has faced several lawsuits since the inciting broadcast in November of 1930, is that right?

[UHLMEYER]: That is correct, yes.

[COMMISSIONER DILLON]: Most of them are for damages of an emotional nature, from rightfully-offended listeners, and even one claiming that the evening's show was responsible for a dea--

[UHLMEYER]: That suit was dro--

[COMMISSIONER DILLON]: Doesn't change that it was brought in the first place, and that it was filed and brought to a court, Mr. Uhlmeyer.

[UHLMEYER]: I will acknowledge the lawsuits regarding the alleged damages, but I cannot say more about currently pending litigation.

[COMMISSIONER DILLON]: A reasonable response, but I ask you Mr. Uhlmeyer; in light of all the suits from your own listenership, can you reasonably say that KPA operates in public interest, convenience, or necessity?

[UHLMEYER]: I firmly believe so, Commissioner Dillon.

[COMMISSIONER DILLON]: I'm sure you do. This hearing is about to hit time, and to that end, we will render our findings in a coming report, but I very much doubt it will be in KPA's favor, Mr. Uhlmeyer.


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